resumes

Think of all the equivalencies between dating and having a job.  You
start going out with somebody, its like getting hired.  The first kiss
is like a raise.  Dating, job- both may cause you to move.  You break
up with them, you quit.  They break up with you, you’re fired.  Things
are bad, you complain to your friends, things are good, you don’t want
to make them jealous.  And as Seinfeld pointed out, the first date is
basically an interview.  But why do we go into that first date totally blind?
You’re not just hired off the street, but with dating, the guy risks
money, the girl an outfit, and both a whole evening.   Why not avoid
this hassle by submitting relationship resumes to each other?  Then
you only have interview (go out with) those that catch your attention.
 These resumes would have relationship history, references, and goals,
just like a business resume has employment history and so forth.  Some
things that might come up:

“Let’s see here, this guy dated the same girl from 2006 to 2009, broke
up, but then they were back together for three months in 2011.  What’s
the story there?”\

“Ooh, his past relationship history includes an Italian model.  Must be cute.”

“She hasn’t seen anyone since high school. Not good.”

“Hmm, goals include engagement and marriage.  I don’t think I can
offer something that long term.”

“Why is the same girl in his relationship history and his references?
This is going to circular.”

But, you may ask,  haven’t dating websites and the like solved the problem of not knowing
your date?  C’mon, it’s the internet, people will say anything there.  No, he is not a three-time
Triathalon winner.   And I doubt that she is fluent in Russian and Mandarin Chinese. This is why you should submit a resume to the other person; people are a lot more honest when they put things on paper.  Especially if its 100% cotton fiber.